How to not be a SIMP | 10 successful tips to save yourself

While you have been scrolling through social media and you saw a beautiful girl and gave her compliment. As soon as you did a few minutes later u get hundreds of comments calling you a SIMP. Or you are playing online video games with your friends and you got a message from a girl and decided to respond her but your friends point you out that you are simping again. They will start calling you simp, beta male or nice guy. Seriously it is very frustrating. But “what is a simp” or “whats a simp” or “what is simping“. Is it good or bad? after that we will see some tips for how to not be a simp.

The Origin of SIMP Word

The word simp could easily be seen to come from the word simpering.

Word on the internet, however, puts it down to an abbreviation: Sucker Idolizing Mediocre P***y.

It’s no NASA, but as abbreviations go, it gets the point it’s trying to make across.

Essentially, a simp is the way that Gen Z describe the Millennial Nice Guy.

According to the Youth simp is sometimes used as a diminutive of ”  simpleton  ” (simpleton) since the beginning of the 20th century.

It was nevertheless used in a sense closer to its current meaning as early as 2000. In the sound  Sippin ‘On Some Syrup by Three 6 Mafia, which begins with this phrase:

“I’m trill working the wheel, a pimp, not a simp”

pimp/simp” opposition taken up more recently by rapper Megan Thee Stallion in  Cash Shit: “Bitch, I do pimp shit, huh / Ho, you on simp shit, ayy”.

According to MEL Magazine , simp , as it is currently used, may be an acronym for “Someone/Sucka Idolizing Mediocre P***y“, roughly “a loser who idolizes mediocre p***ies“.

WHAT IS A SIMP? Simp definition

How to not be a simp

So what does simp mean?

It’s the type of person who, instead of trying to attract the opposite sex through being attractive and interesting, is more sycophantic and fawning.

They use faux niceness and concern in the hope that it will one day result in pity sex or a relationship out of guilt. Essentially, they give to get, even if it means losing some dignity or their original values in the process.

If you’re simping, you’re embodying the values of the simp, and brown nosing to get attention and relationships.

According to a TikTok posted by NoChillTy, these are some obvious markers of a simp:

  1. Always doing the most for a female that doesn’t like them.
  2. ‘Where my hug at?’
  3. Always trying to impress females.
  4. Puts females before themselves.
  5. Will defend a female just for a drop of *cat emoji*.
  6. Hates slander of any female.
  7. Has no game when coming to females so they only try to impress them by doing everything for them.
  8. Lets females walk over them.
  9. Constantly getting curved.

To put more simply, a guy who can do anything or go any limit just to please a girl or get her attention. You probably thinking isn’t it a gentleman’s attitude? But it is absolutely wrong. There is huge line between a simp and a gentleman.

The Difference Between a Simp and a Gentleman

A gentleman is a chivalrous, courteous and honorable. Who has not only have self respect for himself but also for others. A person who help others and treat well everyone. A gentle man have their own ambition and goals which they achieve by hard work. A gentleman particularly very respectful to ladies and treat them as a gentleman should.

On the other hand, a simp is completely opposite. They lack self respect, most of them don’t know what are they even doing with their life and not ambitious. They don’t treat women with respect, they try to objectify and try to impress by manipulate them.

So, what are the common characteristics of a simp?

Are you a simp? How To Tell If You’re a Simp


There are certain sign which can help you to know if you are a simp or not.

You put girls on a pedestal: If you are justifying a girl’s wrong behavior, action, her words, whatever she says or does you don’t see any fault. Can’t criticize her as they are superior to you.

You get told off by them: It actually happens in lot of relationships now a days. Where she act like a boss or even worse, parents who controls you. She tells you how to walk, talk, behave, what to do or not, what to wear and ultimately be yourself. In simply way she controls you.

Overly invested: You probably seen some guys on twitch, YouTube or other social media who are completely invested to some unknown women. They try their best in hope that they will be get noticed by her at least once. They are known are simps.

Manipulated by girls: There are some men who literally do anything for a women for their attention. They’ll often let a woman walk all over them in order to get something for them. They will demand something from you and you will fulfill it by any means, even you know there is no benefit at all. You will do her work without any hesitation, they’ll play some kind of guilt trip on you because they know you that you are a nice guy & that is your weakness.

If these are familiar to you then you should change your behavior.

How to not be a SIMP

So here some point how to stop being a simp or how to stop simping

  • Don’t chase
  • Don’t be always available
  • Don’t Be Anyone’s Butler
  • Stop Seeking Validation
  • Work On Yourself
  • Set Boundaries
  • Prioritize Your Family And Friends
  • Build Self Respect
  • Stop Trying Too Hard
  • Be Courageous

1. Don’t chase

If you are chasing women who doesn’t shown you any interest please stop, it is a a sign that you lack self respect. But if any women giving you any king of sign or eye contact you can approach her. Just go and talk to her.

But if a woman says like “I have a boyfriend”, make some excuse or any kind of other stuff which shows that she is not that interested in you just walk away. She either has boyfriend or not it doesn’t matter she is not interested in you. But that’s not always the case, some women just play ” hard to get“. Even they like you, they simply say no just to see your reaction. Women are very strange creature to be honest, its hard to tell what is in their mind. ( Speaking from experience)

If you are new to dating or have a girlfriend, you saw a girl once or twice you can hit her no problem. But be don’t double texting her or blowing up her phone. If you show her any kind of sign that you are desperate then they always take advantage of the situation. Women judge by men’s behavior and treat them accordingly. Most men don’t understand this and they fall in their trap, its the first step to be a simp.

You can show her some effort, if she don’t show any kind of interest just walk away. Like a Boss..

2. Don’t be always available

Simps behave like they have the free time for the girl they are simping over. It doesn’t matter if it is day or night, sunny or rain whatever the situation is they don’t care. They leave their all important work & go any limit to fulfill their Queen demands.

I have personally seen it my self, One of the biggest simp was my own friend. Once her girlfriend demands for French fries to eat, while we were going to our tuition. It was heavily raining outside and he drag me with him to the market and then to her hostel. I was shivering with cold standing there like a fool and he doesn’t even care. Can’t believe what a fool I was back then.

Anyway, they always take the benefit of your desperation. It also look like that you don’t have any important work to do in your life other than please her like a slave. Women don’t like slave type of men, which makes you less desirable. How many simps you have seen ever succeeds in their goal? may be few because they pity on them or for personal gain. They always looks for strong, good looking, tall, handsome alpha type male, so why they ever be in a relationship with you? think…

3. Don’t Be Anyone’s Butler

I have personally seen men try to fulfill women request by all means, like they can’t refuse her. For them refusing her wish is like a horrible crime or a sin, so pathetic. But always remember doing so don’t make you boyfriend material either. It make you looks pathetic, a desperate man and less desirable. Even if you are in a relationship this behavior not acceptable at all.

Value your time, spend time with your family, friends, find some hobbies or be active in sports. Don’t scarifies your whole life for her. If her demands are messing you up just refuse her. She might not like that response at the moment, but she will admire your enthusiasm and dedication.

But don’t be a completely a-hole. Respecting your time doesn’t mean completely ignoring her message & call. Help her when she actually needs you but don’t be a butler.

4. Stop Seeking Validation

Many men lack self confidence because of their childhood, lack of achievement & lack of friends etc. So they try to impress girls for respect but still women don’t prefer men who are insecure and lack confidence. If you research a little bit you will find out women like men who are not desperate for anyone’s approval & have self confidence AKA alpha male.

But you can’t fake confidence. You have to prepare yourself physically and mentally. You can try some daily affirmations like:

  • “I am worthy of a healthy relationship”
  • “I am attractive“
  • “I have a great personality”
  • “I am confident”
  • “I have the ability to draw the right people into my life”

Affirmations are great help for boosting self confidence and personality.

5. Work On Yourself

It is the best idea to improve yourself. Give some time to yourself, build yourself mentally, physically, financially etc. Most of men who are busy chasing women always neglect those things, they become dull, weak and irresponsible. Most of them don’t care about their future at all it is surprising. They spend money like it’s nothing, so work on your self. Here is an example of a man who spend 10k UDS just to meet a girl who he was simping over. Just look at this fool.


6. Set Boundaries

When it comes to relationship both need to set some boundaries at least for your sake. If you don’t do that you will be easily to manipulate. Once you do that, you have no right to blame her. After all you are the one that simping, she is not forcing you to do anything.

So make some boundaries as soon as you can. Tell her that if you don’t want to go shopping with her. If you want her to see her ex anymore etc. Don’t be afraid just tell her.

If you keep silence in the beginning it will be good for short run but not for a long run. If you keep your mouth shout it will be worse for you day by day. So set some boundaries from the beginning so that you will not get into any trouble.

7. Prioritize Your Family And Friends

As I said earlier, spend time with your family. Go out with your family to dinner, vacation, museum, park and picnic. In indoor activities like play some games like Ludo, Chess or play video games etc. It will help you keep motivate and bring you joy for sure. Spend some time with your family then you will realize that how precious the time is.

If you are giving priority to your girl over your family it’s not a good thing at all, because in worse time your family will be the one standing next to you. If you are in a relationship and your girl tells you to make a distance between your family just tell her the situation or simply walk away.

8. Build Self Respect

Those who doesn’t have self respect often get manipulated by others, if you don’t want to be a simp build self respect. And self respect build confidence. Because if you have self respect and confidence the simp inside you will die eventually.

Because of his self respect he won’t be easy to bend down and won’t be mentally weak. He wont do any stupid or lower his standard just to get any female attention. He won’t sell his balls to get some female appreciation. Because he knows that it won’t work, and it also waste of time and energy.

So respect your self before you respect others.

9. Stop Trying Too Hard

If you ever research you will find out that simps try too hard to get the female attention. They their money, time and energy just to please the woman they are simping over. Still they fail to please her, because women never satisfy and that’s the truth. They try verity of tricks from online article, YouTube videos just to impress a girl. Spend a lots of money just to look good, buy expensive dress, perfume, cars, bike and verity of stuff which are complete waste of money. And they spend a lot of time on social media to get in touch with her. SO STOP TRYING HARD.

10. Be Courageous

The list I provided you above is not easy to follow, you need courage. Many people don’t say or do anything just because they don’t to upset her, that why they became slave minded. They fear she might leave him or won’t give any attention to him. But it is not a good behavior at all, its not healthy either. You have to set a boundaries what you can do for her or what you can’t. So be courageous don’t afraid.

Simps never win

As I said simps never win. Tell me how many simps you have seen who succeeded? the answer is zero. Women never choose simps as there partners, they see them as a provider to their needs. If they are spending time with you don’t think that are something special, it because you have something to offer. The moment you run out of resources they will leave you for another one.

Also Read: Is college hard? Is college as difficult as they say?


What I said above it comes from my own experience with women, I wasn’t a simp but I have seen it and still seeing it till today. Am not a women hater I respect them, but I know their nature and how to deal. So respect yourself, respect women and elder be a kind gentleman. Don’t search for fake appreciation, build yourself. So don’t be a women hater and don’t be a simp.

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